Published
I’ve always had to keep an eye on my cat.
He scratches the furniture, steals treats, and likes to scrap.
But this weekend, I can’t.
My friends invited me to a party
And I fear my cat will throw a party too.
He’s had a suspicious tone about him recently, inspecting the house like he’s sizing up where to put a DJ booth. I’ve caught him leaving toys around too, the cheap ones, that he wouldn’t mind sharing. On top of that, he’s been knocking everything off the counters as if he’s clearing the space for something. Hors d’oeuvres? Portable litter boxes? And when I ask him about it, he just meows at me.
But today, I got a bit more concerned. Boxes of wet food adorned with the branding of a cat in a suit smoking a cigar have started showing up at my doorstep. I found laser pointers next to the speakers, and I don’t remember owning laser pointers — or speakers. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s a sign above my door that reads “The Scratching Post”, which worries me, cause I don’t see any new scratching posts, just furniture. More alarming than that though, I saw him testing, weighing, bagging up, and labeling catnip in the bathroom that he’s now been calling “The Distribution Center.” I even had a person show up today with ice sculptures of “Meowdusa”, “Pawseidon”, and “Purrcules”, and they said they’d just “put it on the tab.”
Maybe I shouldn’t be too worried though.
It’s hard to throw a party
If you can’t reach the door.
But there’s no time to think about it now.
My friends asked me to pick up cat treats
Before we go out tonight.
Apparently the party’s at a new venue in town
Called The Scratching Post.
—Connor